Quantico 12K aka "Catharsis"

So I started this blog ...

Decided it was finally time to start a running blog, mostly for myself, but for anyone else that has previously enjoyed my Facebook posts after some of these races. The Quantico 12K seemed like the perfect race to start with. It also took me about a month to type this all up. Hopefully I'll get better at this in the future (had to figure out how to easily get photos added in here from my phone, blah blah blah).

One of my 2018 running goals was to run all of the races in the Marine Corps Marathon Event Series, so this was a new race I'd never done before. Of course, this was before I knew I was having shoulder surgery in late March. I planned the surgery for after the March 17.75K and hoped I'd be cleared in time to run the Historic Half in May.

I started with the 17.75K (11.03 miles) on March 24, followed by the Historic Half (13.1 miles) on May 20 and the Belleau Wood 8K (4.97 miles) on June 23. And then I didn't really run in July or August, aside from a few short miles while I was at the Outer Banks in July. So, as usual, I'd say I was pretty damn unprepared for this race.

But even more than being physically unprepared, I wasn't mentally prepared for this race either.

For those that don't know, I was at Officer Candidate School (OCS) for the Marine Corps during OCC-222, summer 2016. With details long enough for their own blog post, in brief, I caught pneumonia that turned into an abscess in my lungs, and coupled with a snowball effect on everything else, I came home around week 7 of 10 - so close, yet so far away. OCS was the hardest thing I'd ever done and back then, I'd have given anything to go back and try again, although I truly believe everything happens for a reason. So how does that play into this race? Read on.

I'm a total PROcrastinator ...

Not that it should be any surprise, but with just a few days before the race, I decided to see exactly where I'd be running ... "The Quantico 12K introduces a 7.46 mile run-only option on the same day as the Quantico Tri. Hosted in the unique setting of Officer Candidates School, the 12K finishes alongside the famed OCS PT field. Preparation begins here for Marines, as well as many runners training for MCM." Uhhhhhh ... I'm heading back to OCS? Where I last felt like the biggest failure ever? What the hell was I thinking.

Rodriguez <3

Adding to all the feels, on Friday, August 17, 2018, the world lost a beautiful soul: Vanessa Rodriguez. We had been at OCS together that summer, and racks (beds) were assigned based on last name. Peretich, Pickens, Rodriguez, Rubio. I could go into so much more, but I won't just yet.

Here's a photo of Rodriguez (from her Facebook profile). I've always loved this one because I think it shows her adventurous nature, her love of animals, her smile, and her determination, amongst other things. Side note: one of the first liberties (aka some freedom from OCS to leave base, get Starbucks, eat real food, sleep, etc.), I realized that I barely knew anyone's first name when trying to find them on Facebook - you always called everyone by their last name, so hearing first names was interesting. Vanessa and I both got sent packing at OCS the same day; she worked her ass off to re-apply and even went back the following year.

And this cover photo? Yes, yes, yes. It's got an adorable kitten and a lion.

All the inspirational quotes fly through my head when I see this. Here's just a few of them:

"Faith is a little thing that makes a big difference."

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it - you can either run from it or learn from it." -The Lion King-

"It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep for all your life." -Elizabeth Kenny-

So this race is about to be a bucket full of emotions. Recap told in the form of 50 photos below.

Race Recap

(1) I wish I'd gotten a photo of the crazy way that Waze took me onto base. Well, tried to take me. It was a dead end path into what can best be described as a Jurassic Park-like gravel road that went to a locked gate (where there clearly would never be anyone there to let you in). I wasn't the only idiot trying to take this one-way gravel road, either. As I was already running slightly behind, I started to freak out that I wouldn't even make it on time to the race. I turned around multiple times, almost hit a mamma dear and baby that were literally STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, and started crying that I was going to miss this race. CRYING because I wasn't going to be able to run? Who am I?! Luckily, time was on my side and I found my way to an actual entrance onto base. And this all-too familiar stop sign with one of many arrows pointing the way back to OCS.

(2) The bridge. Candidates (that's what you're called at OCS ... Candidate Peretich requests to speak to ... etc.) walk over this bridge during liberty (aka a glimpse of FREEDOM) if they don't have a car on site. I had my car that summer, or I left base with my buddy that had a car, so I never had to walk over the bridge. But here it was. The bridge for candidates to leave OCS on liberty and meet someone on the other side.

(3) The start line for the 12K, right behind the chairs on the parade deck (where we did drill). Drill makes me think of Staff Sergeant Moody (who is now a Gunny Sgt). She freaking LOVED drill. Oh, did I mention yet that these race photos are a glimpse into my "summer camp" at OCS? It's not so much the run, but the memories and the emotions that very few folks know about.

(4) After I was worried I wouldn't make it on time to the start (because you never know how close you can park, etc., and I still had to pick up my race bib and shirt and get them back to the car), I made it with plenty of time. What a pretty mustard yellow shirt. Pretty sure I don't have any shirt in this color ...

(5) My parking spot - right in front of the barracks. These outdoor showers? "Weapon, gear, body." Clean your weapon, clean your gear, then rinse your body. When you're out of time, it's always the body that is muddy and dirty. I left my weapon unattended at one point ... well, maybe not, but any which way, I paid for it in running and push-ups and a sergeant instructor screaming at me.

 (6) The pathway? Must've walked/marched/ran back and forth on there countless times. Those windows on the first floor? I didn't get a chance to look out them much, but I distinctly remember being on Firewatch on the Fourth of July and watching some fireworks (most likely from mainside) in the middle of the night with Fuentes checking them out at some point, too. *Firewatch: one or two hour shifts where you protected the barracks, did laundry, made sure there were no intruders, and more. That morning, PTI (our physical training instructor) told us a motivational story before PT, which I'm pretty sure is one of the only reasons I knew it was July 4th. I kept track of the days in a handmade "calendar" in my Rite-in-the-Rain (notebook), but sometimes I'd get off track, so I was never really sure. Of anything.

 (7) More of the barracks. Charlie company, first platoon.

 (8) Man, the sunrise was BEAUTIFUL from the car ride to base, and the skies were even more beautiful once I got there.

 (9) Walking around and killing some time before the race started. Most folks were stretching or running to warm-up. I was walking around with all the emotions.

(10) PT field. With my favorite: the O-course (obstacle course) in the background. This was the finish line for the 12K, too.

(11) Medical. Boy, did I spend some time here. The beginning of the end for me. You try to avoid medical at all costs. I know that I did. Every time you're at medical, you're missing out on something that the rest of the platoon is doing. Usually something important (class, PT, events, etc.). Which means that you're losing sleep later on to make up learning the missed material. Ugh. So many emotions on this building.

(12) OCS sign. The day I got sent home, I went to take a photo (ok, a selfie) with this sign. Something about "peace out, OCS". But someone that day yelled at me - "hey! you can't take photos here!" Guess I just needed to come run the Quantico 12K to get the photo (or not try to take it during the middle of OCS).

(13) Getting to Brown Field (home of OCS), you take Fleming Rd. One of the other SIs (sergeant instructors) was Staff Sergeant Fleming. I liked her, a little less than SSgt Moody, but definitely more than SSgt Shippen. My favorite was our Platoon Sergeant, GySgt Estremera. I'm sure they're all great in real life.

(14) Bobo Hall. The first place we passed on our 12K. Now we're on to the race photos. We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner at this place. You didn't think of OCS as weeks or days, but moreso just going from chow to chow. I've NEVER eaten as much in my life and still managed to lose weight. One of the girls in the platoon wore a Fitbit, and I remember seeing data shared somewhere later that we averaged something like 10 miles a day. We walked everywhere. Never got sick from the crazy amount of food consumed. Even when it would be cleaning, morning chow, PT, class, lunch chow, etc. They added some water things in the front of Bobo from what I could tell. Much nicer than filling up the Camelpaks at the water spigot.

(15) The first of many hills on the trails. I was already filled with so many emotions. I already wanted to stop and walk (like plenty of folks around me). But I kept running. Rodriguez gave it everything she had. I would, too.

(16) Tried to get a selfie at the top of the hill. I ran the entire thing. Feeling pretty damn accomplished with that one.

(17) Only mile 1? Feels like I've been running for like 3 miles at this point.

(18) Looks like just a normal running path. This is where I remember wanting to give up at OCS one day. We would go on group runs, and all these cardio bunnies in the platoon could run circles around me (at least it felt that way). So if I fell behind (or anyone for that matter), they would circle back and get me (with some choice yelling). I wanted to give up and walk one day, and right around this area, Lucas came back to tell me to "keep going, keep breathing, one foot in front of the other". Sometimes knowing that you had folks to support you is all you need for a little extra push.

(19) Very few signs on this course. Here's the first one.

(20) Immediately followed by another one.

(21) And a third.

(22) ALWAYS FORWARD.

(23) Thank goodness. Mile 2.

(24) Looks like an open field, right? Nope. Site of a bivouac (aka tent camping) at some point during OCS. "You don't want to align the tents? Move them all over there!" I actually didn't ever really mind setting up the tents - I always loved camping.

(25) Mile 3 - woo hoo! Getting close to halfway.

(26) Tarawa & Engineer Road. These signs were all along the trails at OCS. Some people would know where we were going. I was so focused on not dying every time we ran that I never knew where we were. But the Battle of Tarawa happened in 1943 during World War II. Even though the United States won the battle, it took a major toll on the USMC. I remember being on Engineer Road A LOT, probably one of the main roads we took that summer, but who knows.

(27) TAA 9. I have no clue what this stands for, but I remember seeing them all the time during OCS.

(28) Looks like a blurry photo of trees. Also looks like the spot where someone lost their compass during a movement at OCS and we spent what felt like HOURS combing the forest floor for the lost compass. We moved up and down the hill, covering every inch to find the lost compass. NEVER LOSE YOUR COMPASS. Never lose anything. I can't remember if we found the compass or not.

(29) Another road junction: Tarawa & Saipan. The Battle of Saipan was another American victory during World War II, lasting over 3 weeks in 1944 in the Mariana islands.

(30) YAY! Halfway done! Photo is blurry because I was moving SO FAST! (just kidding - I'm slow - but I didn't stop to take the photo and clearly my photo burst didn't catch a photo in focus)

(31) LAND NAV! Now if there's one thing I loved at OCS, once I figured out how to use my damn compass, it was land navigation, aka land nav. You would get this piece of paper with five spots, ABCDE, and we would start at one place (everyone was starting at different places and heading to different places), and then you would have to navigate your way to a box like this with a number on it. Then you'd go check with someone close by. "Candidate Peretich ..." I can't remember what else we said after that, but basically they'd check my paper and give me a check mark because I LOVE LAND NAV. Those were my best grades, daytime (easy because you can see the boxes) and nighttime (harder because you have to adjust to seeing in the dark, and if you wanted to use your light to look at your paper, you had to cover yourself underneath your tarp so no one could see you). Oh, and there was no talking. Definitely my favorite thing about OCS, aside from the nighttime land nav where I tripped and fell, imagined people all around me in the woods, destroyed my ankle, made the mistake of limping past a medical corpsman (I couldn't see him), wound up at medical with pneumonia, missed our graded 6-mile (??) hike a few hours later, and then had to make it up another day, missing something else to do so. 

(32) The lake where we finished daytime land nav and sat on our awesome camp stools waiting for everyone else to finish. I was one of the first people back and remember feeling SO accomplished (I wasn't great at very much at OCS; I think it's truly set up to make you feel like a failure a lot of the time and see how you respond). And I enjoyed this beautiful view of the water and distinctly remember wanting to jump in because I was hot as anything. I sweat - a LOT - and it's crazy to me that I felt like I was sweating so much more than everyone else that summer, even after we would get out of the shower, I'd have already sweat through my new awesome green shirt.

(33) It's an inside family joke, but there was a road at OCS named Buffalo Road. It made me think of my family, but especially my mom, both that summer and during this race. It's also a terribly hilly road if you're going one way.

(34) A failed attempt at being able to see either the sign behind me, or the slow incline up Buffalo Road.

(35) Mile 5! Only a few to go!

(36) The race has thinned out at this point, so I didn't see a ton of people, but also I wasn't getting passed by folks, so that's always good. I'm keeping a decent pace!

(37) Mile 6! The sun is shining through the trees and it is absolutely beautiful out. I can't help but feel all the emotions right now. I haven't stopped running, yet every step was a reminder of something I'd failed. Today was HARD. So it was also amazing to think how much faster I could run at OCS (because I'm at a snail's pace today) - I'd put in a lot of work before that summer, and I was really appreciating how far I'd actually come when running today felt like I was wearing ankle weights at times.

(38) Engineer Road again, and senior fartlek. I hated fartleks. Fartlek is basically like sprinting and jogging. But I think I have one speed for everything, from a 200m sprint to a 26.2 mile run - same pace. I would probably get faster if I actually did some sprint work, but I hate sprints. I'd rather just jog and enjoy the scenery. I'm also competitive so if I sprint against someone who is faster than me, I know I'll never catch them and thus slow down. And if I'm faster than someone, I don't try as hard. I need to figure out how to have a better mental game when it comes to sprinting. Or find someone that sprints right at my pace haha.

(39) The site of exercises. We would run around these trails and do different exercises. I loved the exercises, normally, but when you're the last person to arrive, you're probably going to be the last person to leave, and it's like you never get to rest because you're always playing catch up. This was squat thrusts, I think. Sometimes we would jump on logs (yay! box jumps), do decline push-ups, etc.

(40) Part of the E-course. Another one of my favorite accomplishments. The E- (or Endurance) course was a graduation requirement at OCS. It involved starting with the obstacle course (which I was pretty decent at), throwing on your LBV (load bearing vest) with 2 filled water canteens and picking up your rifle, and then running a longer-than-normal distance with more obstacles along the way. And nothing was marked, so you had to know where you were going next (we did it together as a group once), you know, if you couldn't keep up with people. The first time we did it solo, I actually passed when a good portion of the platoon did not. Give me distance and obstacles and a reasonable pacing requirement and I was golden. I'll never forget that feeling of accomplishment that day because the E-course is a make-or-break graduation requirement for some folks, and I'd actually passed.

(41) Less than a mile to go! At this point, the folks from the Quantico Tri (triathlon) are also on course running with us. However, I'm towards the back half of the 12K group, and these are the front runners for the triathlon, so they are flying past me. They all had timing bracelets on their ankles, so you knew the triathletes from get passed at the end by the 12K'ers.

(42) Part of the O-course (obstacle course) on the juniors field. This is right around where this lady tells me how awesome I was for running all the way up that last hill we just had when everyone else was walking. It was a super sweet compliment. Normally, I'm the person walking the hills when I'm tired and thinking to myself how awesome these folks are that are still running. Note to self to tell them that next time it happens because it made me feel good inside :)

(43) Part of the PFT (physical fitness test) included a 3-mile run, my nemesis. This always kept me from scoring a perfect 300 points (100 for sit-ups, 100 for pull-ups/flexed arm hang, 100 for the run) because I've NEVER ran three miles in 21 minutes. During  the initial PFT when we first got to OCS, the commanding officer (CO) at the time, who also happened to be a female, ran by my in this area and said "look how strong they all look" as she ran by. I'd like to think it was my gigantic calves and quads she was talking about (even though I'm super self conscious about them), but who knows.

(44) There's these ropes in the distance in this photo that we would have to slide ourselves across. Harder than it initially looked, but got easier over time.

(45) Reminded me of the time we got to put the red caps (I can't remember what they were called ... silencers?) on our rifles and actually fired blanks as we moved through different scenarios and learned various formations. A crappy description of what we did, but another memory along the run.

(46) The armory? Not sure what the building is actually called, but we went here early on and received our weapons. You had to memorize the serial number (along with labeling it and making sure the tape looked great at all times). We also cleaned our weapons. A LOT. I think I got fairly decent at taking it apart and putting it back together. Not excellent, but not bad for never really handling guns before OCS aside from a handful of times. But this day that we got issued our weapon? We also got our stuff to clean them, which included a wire brush. That I, for some idiotic reason, put in the pants pocket of my camis, and it poked through to my thigh for the next two or more hours as we moved from place to place. I couldn't take it out because I didn't want to draw attention to myself, so I just dealt with the pain. But it sucked.

(47) Yay! I finished! This was at the finish line, and for some reason, made me crack up. "I can't stop drinking about you." I was thirsty so the Bai water tasted delicious.

(48) Did I mention they had WATERMELON at the finish line? It tasted AMAZING after a hot and sweaty run.

(49) AND Famous Dave's ribs! Protein and some healthy carbs post-race? Yes, please.

(50) Yay! DONE! Final time - 1:32:11, 12:21/mile pace. Placed 79th in my age group. No clue how many were in my age group LoL.

Final Thoughts:

If you got this far, I don't take nearly this many photos during a race (ok, sometimes I do). But this race was completely cathartic for me.

cathartic: providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions 

catharsis: the release of tension and anxiety that results from bringing repressed feelings and memories into consciousness

Seemed like the perfect place to start with a blog and a perfect time to truly move forward in life. It's now been two years and I can finally say that I spent an amazing summer at OCS in 2016, met some amazing ladies, experienced something most folks will never experience, and learned so much about myself in the process. I worked my ass off to apply to and be accepted into OCS, I gave it everything I had that summer, and then some. While I fell short of my goal of being an officer in the Marine Corps, it also led me to where I am today. When I left OCS, I took a leave of absence from teaching high school science and opened up Calvert CrossFit North as a co-owner to share my passion for and love of fitness with others. And I'm grateful every day for this opportunity and can't wait to see what the future holds. Because my life is amazing and I'm truly blessed.

Also, if I re-read these blog posts, they will probably never be good enough to get posted, so excuse any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes and know that I'm probably just typing and posting and moving on.

Until the next race.